“My heart is awakened. I am the one who turns to the face of the Friend.

I am the one that becomes a river in order to join the sea.

I have overcome the troops of my ego; I have destroyed its towers and fortresses.

I have cleaned the inside; I am the one who has cleaned the country.

I have faced His excellency, that Man of Love has opened my eyes.

He has shown me my own essence; I am the one called¬†ayet-i kull.”

Yunus Emre, 13th C. Anatolian Sufi poet. 


“The Boddhichitta is like a seed because from it grows all the truths of Buddhism. It is like a farm because here are produced all things of purity for the world.

The Boddhichitta is like the earth because all the worlds are supported by it. It is like water because all the dirt of the passions is thereby cleansed. It is like the wind because it blows all over the world with nothing obstructing its course. It is like fire because it consumes all the fuel of bad logic.

The Boddhichitta is like the sun because it leaves nothing unenlightened on earth. It is like the moon because it fills to perfection all things of purity. It is like a lamp because it perceives where the road is even and where it is uneven.

The Boddhichitta is like a highway because it leads one to the city of knowledge. It is like a secret ford because it keeps away all that is not proper. It is like a carriage because it carries all the Boddhisattvas. It is like a door because it opens to all the doings of the Boddhisattvas.

The Boddhichitta is like a mansion because it is the retreat where Samadhi and meditation are practised. It is like a park because it is where the enjoyment of truth is experienced. It is like a dwelling house because it is where all the world is comfortably sheltered. It is like a refuge because it gives salutory abode to all beings. It is like an asylum because it is where all the Boddhisattvas walk.

The Boddhicitta is like a father because it protects all the Boddhisattvas. It is like a mother because it brings up all the Boddhisattvas. It is like a nurse because it takes care of all the Boddhisattvas. It is like a good friend because it gives advice to all Boddhisattvas.”

(Gandavyuha Sutra, translation D.T Suzuki.)






Divine Will

It’s been a while. Nine months in fact since I posted my last blogpost. As this monumental year draws to an end, only now do I feel ready to share. The numerological significance of 9 is not lost on me. In that time, from a clot of blood, a seed can grow into a an entirely new being. And I’m sure, just like my journey over the last three seasons, it is not without it’s challenges and difficulties. But like a mother meeting her newborn baby quickly forgets her pains of pregnancy and childbirth, I too can now finally look back on my journey with a smile.

Having navigated the tightrope of transition, I have safely made my way back to dryer land. In the process I had to let go of dead weight holding me back, and as a result, I feel happier and the most at peace I have ever felt in my life. This, despite the global catastrophe’s we face, has rekindled the fire of hope in my heart that great changes are on their way. Life is a constant balance between the Absolute and the relative.To be awake in a world that is sleeping is sometimes painful. But I sense that the veil of separation that has divided humanity based on their colour, creed or conviction is about to fall. And while the body of Islam has been beaten to a pulp by extremism and left for dead, her heart remains beating. In fact it has never been stronger. She will have to rely on other beating hearts to revive her tired and abused body.

The illusion of separation is what has kept me in my own personal nightmare. And now that I have woken up I sense that the world is waking up with me. But what sustained me during my journey has been the words of great teachers to support my every step. “Every moment is another footstep on the path. Not clinging to the past, but knowing that we are all restless hearts continuously moving to a future we cannot yet perceive.”

With each difficult transition, I kept these words from my teacher Pir Zia Inayat Khan close to my heart. My biggest transformation during this journey has been from that of exchanging the perilous path of free will for the more harmonious path of Divine will. I know which path I am treading by the sense of harmony in my physical body, which is only a reflection of my inner being. My ego-centric focus has shifted from ‘what can I get out of this?’ to a more collective approach of ‘how can I be of service to others?’

But we cannot give from an empty well. And somehow all the tears I have shed in 2016 have filled my well. As my eyes have dried up, I feel ready to be of service to the world again. And to follow my true purpose as a writer. For a year now, I have hidden behind a computer screen, anonymously venting my anguish and frustration at not being able to leave an old identity. I was happy in the knowledge that nobody knew this site existed let alone read it. But you are not a true writer until somebody reads your work. Please excuse me now, as I put my head underneath my duvet and allow my ego to have a rant for having exposed myself so nakedly.